Breastfeeding Bummer.

So... As I had posted before Maddux arrived I had wanted to breastfeed more than anything & I truly felt that I could do this no matter what I could get through whatever came our way with this and we would succeed.  So, here's what happened...
right after birth we didn't have any visitors for the first hour so we could breastfeed right away with no distractions as recommended by our nurses and Maddux did AWESOME he latched on perfectly and did great. 
The next couple days went ok he wasn't getting much and would get frusterated so we were supplementing with formula through a syringe while he was at the breast this worked or so we thought... at discharge he weighed 6 lbs 15oz.
When we got to come home Maddux was soooo fussy and wasn't sleeping much.  He also wasn't having but maybe 1-2 wet diapers a day so this was problem but we had an appt on Saturday so we stuck it out and when we went to our appt they weighed him and he was down to 6 lbs 7 oz. The doc said that he would have to gain weight by Tuesday or we would have to switch to formula I didn't want to give up and this was so hard to hear but I was willing to try to anything to get this right.  The doctor also told us that we should try to give him a pacifier to help him sleep which we were trying to go at least the first 3 weeks without to help avoid any confusion between nipples but, we took the docs advice and gave him a pacifier it did help soothe him but at the very next feeding he seemed confused like he couldn't latch on so I thought I would try to pump that feeding so I knew he could have something.  I pumped 2 oz. and he ate all of that.  after he ate that out of the bottle then having the pacifier at the following feeding he refused to latch and ended up just screaming and getting so upset which inturn upset me and I knew then that this just wasn't going to work-- I knew I had to give him a bottle so thats what we did I gave him a bottle at the next two feedings which got us through the night.  He was instantly sleeping better and was a different baby but I still wanted to at least try to breastfeed even if that meant I just had to pump but after going over 12 hours with no pumping and Maddux not latching to me I pumped each breast for over 30 minutes and I only got an ounce!! This was so discouraging and that was the point that we decided as a family that breastfeeding was not going to work so sadly and through TONS of tears on his behalf and mine he is now a happy formula fed weight gaining baby as of Tuesday he was back up to his discharge weight of 6 lbs 15 oz.

I know that breastfeeding is much better for him but I don't think he was getting enough to eat which is even harder to except considering I feel like I starved my own child but then I have to remind myself that I had NO idea what was going on and I feel like we made the right decision to have him switch to formula.