Happy Birthday...

To the greatest man I know...

My dad.

Growing up I never realized how lucky I was... looking back now I can't believe I missed out on hanging out with and spending time with someone so amazing.

He seriously means the world to me & I know I do to him.

I couldn't ask for a better hero in life.

He does anything and everything I ever ask of him.

He does a lot that goes unnoticed.

The day I walked down the eisle to marry the man of my dreams he was right next to me...

calming the nerves that were beginning to come over me

holding me up as I took in every moment of walking down the isle

and the greatest blessing of all from that day...

supporting my decision and giving us the blessing to become one

The Day I gave birth to my own child...

he never left my side

he was patient and overjoyed as we waited to welcome our baby boy.

The one thing I remember though is  my mom and jayce who were the ones holding my legs as I pushed this miracle out he sat back on the couch just waiting..and once Maddux was out and they went to clean him up and weigh him etc. I laid on the bed in pain as the doctor took care of me, cleaned me up, sewed me up...

He was the one who was their

He was the one checking on his baby...

He kissed my cheek and told me he loved me

and that I will always remember

He took over when the excitement of Maddux took over everyone else...

This is one of many days...

Maddux is his world.

Seriously I couldn't have asked for a better Grandpa for my kid.

He loves him prolly more than his own kids. ;)

He is seriously is hands down the best Grandpa ever.

You are the greatest and we are so lucky to have such an amazing dad,grandpa, friend & hero.

You are wonderful!

Happy Happy HAPPY Birthday Dad!
Love ya Forever!

The Wilcox Family

Rant of all Rants.

Let me just tell you if you don't want to hear me complain... like a lot then just go on up to the top right of the screen and click that little x... yep go ahead because that is the mood I'm in.  I'm just needing to complain about pretty much anything and everything & this is just to make me feel a little better--I hope (& if it doesn't then my day isn't going to have a shot in the world to be a good one) so let's begin, shall we?

• I'm deleting pretty much everyone and their brother on facebook--you don't tell me my kids cute, we don't need to be friends.
• Seriously rddaffvttekkn needs to stop being a copy cat-- like it's creepy? Does she not realize what a creep she looks like? She's not even copying me but damnnnn guys it's scary. Let me give ya a little run down. 
• She has love child with fiance--this child is doesn't have a nickname, doesn't wear bows..notta she is a stay at home mom doing nothing extra on the side.
• Her Idol has child has nickname for child and that child wears bows and flowers... this person is also a photographer/stay at home momma
• Copy-Cat decides a)her child has the SAME nickname b) her child wears bows/flowers all the time and c) she is a photographer too
• this list could go on and on and on and on... but I'm over this rant point in case she's a creepy stalker and I'm tired of reading her stupid status that are seriously a repeat of what her idol posts earlier in the week. for realzzz get a life--your own preferably.
• I spent abot $60 on mlb.com for xmas presents for Maddux got them in the mail today--they look poor... I bought 2 jackets and a jersey... seriously I could make all of it myself and make it look better than what I bought! I was so dissappointed--I did use coupon codes to get my price so low but this will be going back into the mail on Monday. I'll save my money for something else.
• As I write this I'm working on my friends list on facebook like stated above--this is taking FOREV it's redic.  they should have a check all button but instead I have to do one person at a time.
• Breaking Dawn--OMG! LOVE LOVE LOVE!! But that damn ending--I don't read the books so I have no idea what is going on now & I can NOT wait for the other one to come out!
• At breakfast today I read that copy cat's status that I spoke of earlier and I'm like seriously seriously Jayce this is just stupid she's so dumb blah blah blah and he's like wow Ashlee you just need to calm down and delete her your getting to worked up about nothing--I'm like woah okay whatever definately not the reaction I wanted or needed.
• That Bday Party I went to last week--was seriously a joke everyone started to fight and I'm just sitting their with Hubs and one of my friends Boyfriends like seriously girls and guys were not in high school anymore just shut up and move on--it was redic
• They played Beer Olympics--we came in 3rd--we weren't going to participate until we thought of the perfect team name... Team Use To Be--get it? As soon as my friends found out I was expecting I became invisible to them pretty much they NEVER came around and only 3 of them came to my baby shower it was a joke and since having Maddux only a one of them are really a part of his life so our name was saying we used to be friends we used to be cool we used to party we used to be the center of the group and now we aren't anything... and the back had a maid sweeping away our team like they just swept our friendship away--yeah it was awesome! :)

• Hubs New Job Offer is seriously stressing me out.  Hardcore--I think that's where all this ranting is coming from...stress.
• I may do a post for this topic and this is totally another issue that is causing these rants... ever since having Maddux I get the WORST stomach aches ever. Like I start to shake I'm in so much pain I've tried to find a pattern to them but there really isn't one. I had one of these stomach aches last night during breaking dawn--it was so hard to focus on the movie... I'm to the point where I want to go to the doctors for it.
• Oh let me address this one too while it just popped in my head--we ran into one of Hubs co-worker their dauter is about 2 months older than Maddux and we were of course talking kids and something was said about how Maddux has a tooth about to burst thru the gums--or so it feels & he's like well my kid had teeth at this age... then we mentioned how maddux started real crawling a couple weeks ago and he's like my kid do this... and so on.  I know I'm proud of my kid but seriously if your a one upper let's just not be--we are talking about babies you make think your baby is better than mine but it's not.  So, let's stop comparing and just move on and be happy for the other person.
• There are like... 6-7 people that had babies around the same time as Maddux you would think that we would like talk babies and be friends--eh, no.  I'm not like outgoing outgoing but wouldn't mind to make some mommy friends that have kids the same age as Maddux but then again that's when the whole one upper thing comes into play and I don't want to deal with that.
• The other day I had one of the worst days ever.  I got my car stuck--yes stuck like in the mud. I was running SUPER late to Maddux's Doctors appt. I got pulled over and recieved a "talking" more like a yelling and spanking it was unacceptable and inappropriate on the cops part and a ticket that is going to cost me at least a third of one my Hubs paychecks.  The cop also lied stretched the truth about my speed... I dont even think he clocked me because my fuzz buster NEVER went off not once. but anyone 19.4 over the speed limit yeah I'd say it's going to be a pretty chunk of money... also the threat of going to court for child endangerment yep it happened like I said he was crazy rude and mean and made me cry.... having a bad day and took it out on me... I think he needs a little God in his life.
• There is a girl on facebook that announced she was pregnant about a month ago and is saying that she needs to go to the doctor to get something done I don't even know the term anywho I guess it's serious and she needs it done like... now but doesn't have insurance or a job and either does her husband they already have one kid so they have to know how expensive a baby is--what the hell are you doing with internet if you can't even afford to go to the doctor and potentially save your childs life.  I just don't get people BABIES COST MONEY A LOT OF IT--GO GET A JOB AND STOP BEING LAZYYY (they both had jobs seriously like 2 weeks ago how do you both quit your jobs and think its ok)

um... I think I'll be done for now. I hope I didn't offend anyone--I just needed this. I needed it to make me feel better & it did. sorta :)

$$ Save Money $$

I have blogged about this before (here) but I feel the need to blog about it again...

Amazon Mom & Amazon Subscribe & Save

I have NEVER and will NEVER purchase diapers from the store... why you ask?

Because I would litterly just be throwing my money away.

I purchase 1 economy size box of diapers a month (size 2=246 diapers size 3=222 diapers)

I am paying A LOT less than what people are at the store. 

I went to Wal-mart and people are paying around $25 for a 120 pack of size 2 diapers seriously this amazes me... I am getting DOUBLE the diapers for only.... $33 dollars--you read that right only 8 more dollars than what someone buying there diapers at walmart are paying for theirs. 

So EVERYONE needs (that uses disposable diapers) needs to head on over to amazon & you need to become an amazon mom to get the full discount

but you also need to order them through subscribe and save program let me give you some more information on that.

SUBSCRIBE & SAVE PERKS

*Cheaper products--added discount

*Most products come in bulk packages--so less hassle

*you can cancel your subscription at ANY time

*you can skip an order

*you can have your order come sooner than scheduled

*you can change your subscription at ANY time

Seriously guys just go check it out... I truly believe this is something everyone should do

Click on whatever brand you use and it will take you to the amazon page & you can get signed up & start saving your money! :)
                                   

I have also added these to my side bar to the right! :)

I really think this is important and just really want people to realize how much of a rip off buying diapers at wal-mart or target is...

UNLESS you can get your diapers for free which is possible with coupons and such but if you can't do that then I recommend heading on over to amazon and takin advantage of this deal

Go Here to learn more and sign up for amazon mom

Oh & Don't forget about the deal I posted yesterday! $18 for 11 x 14 Canvas Print!! Just Click HERE!

** For some reason when I ordered another one this morning I only got $5 plum bucks so I ended up getting the deal for $23... still a awesome deal if ya ask me! :)

Make New Friends....

How do you do just that?
I mean seriously I'm just over this whole friend situation.
 I love my old high school friends but I just don't "connect" with them.  I mean they will always be my friends but until they are on the same chapter of life as me we will never "connect" like we used to ya know?
 I just struggle daily with not having anyone that is going through the same things as me so I have only my husband to talk to.
I do have a couple of mommy friends but I want best mommy friends ya know?
 I know friendship takes time butttt.... I want to just be able to text someone and tell them about my bad day or just swing on in for a playdate and likewise... I want to be able to gossip and just relax. I just want that best friend relationship with someone on the same level as me!

I feel like life just happens and all the sudden your stuck in the middle of it-- alone. 

I mean I have my husband and I have my mother and they are my true best friends but I just still feel like there is something missing. 

I need some friends.  Tell me where to find them or what I gotta do to get them because I miss having them! :)

Big Regrets.

I've been a real mom for 6 months now & let me just tell you I have some huge regrets already. 

Regret #1
Trying to dictate my future parenting issues
I was the type of pregnant person that said my baby will do this my baby won't do that...
I plan on doing thing I will NOT do that....
&& let me just say I regret saying any of it because now that I'm here parenting my son there are things that I'm like really Ashlee, your ridiculous.  I regret letting some of the things I suggested out of my mouth--I've realized you can't honestly say what you will and won't do when it comes to parenting until you parent. plain and simple

Regret #2
Never Never Never. Never Never Never.
this can kinda relate to the previous regret. but I said Never a lot. 
my child will never wear disney clothes
my child will never sleep in my bed or with me
I will never give up breastfeeding
this list could go on and on and on....
my son is obessed with Mickey & I buy him all things Mickey
my son slept in my bed from 2 weeks--3/4months
I sadly quit breastfeeding when Maddux was 5 days old (something that still upsets me)
Plain and simple like I said before you have no idea how you will parent until you parent but one piece of advice that I will give all new mommies....
Never say Never.

Regret #3
Breastfeeding Drop Out
I swore up and down that I would breast feed Maddux until at least 6 months.
I didn't have that bonding feeling at all when I breastfed but that's not why I wanted to do it
I wanted what was best for my child and I thought that was it...
Maddux cried all day every day it was horrible--everyone would tell me they thought he was hungry which would really upset me because I would have just got done feeding him so he would just cry-- it wasn't fun and the moment I caved and gave him formula from a bottle he was the best baby ever.  he was like a real newborn he slept so contently... I remember getting a call from the Lactation Consultant suggesting that I keep trying and that I begin to pump I was so upset at the time feeling like a failure and like I had just starved my little baby for the past 5 days that I didn't want to deal with it I just wanted him happy and that is what formula did so I didn't do anything to try to breastfeed instead I did everything to dry up my milk supply. 
Still to this day--I wish I would have tried harder.

Regret #4
Research is for geeks
I wish I would do more research on the things I get for Maddux... this isn't a huge regret but I had 9 months where I could've prepared for what I was going to buy Maddux but instead I just bought the cute thing or the thing that "looked" safe-- I will say I am 100% satisfied with everything I bought for him other than my monitor but everything else has been wonderful.
but next time and in the future I hope I just look up a little bit more information & reviews on the products that my child will use.

Regret #5
Pictures or Lack of...
I didn't take hardly any pictures in the hospital--
I didn't take a single family picture until almost a month after Maddux was born
I didn't take but maybe 3-4 pictures the night Maddux was born
I didn't get real newborn pictures of him taken
I didn't family pictures taken until he was 5 months old
seriously DONT do this TAKE 1000 pictures the moment your child is born I will forever regret this... forever.

Regret #6
I'm Pregnant::Breakdown!
this is the biggest regret of my life... I can never change this and it sucks to even talk about it or admit it but...
the moment I found out the greatest most life changing news I... lost it.
I cried & cried & cried some more...
I ran to my bedroom, shoved my head into my pillow and just cried.
Jayce came in to try to calm me down and he kept telling me it'd be ok &
all that kept running thru my head was I wasn't married I wasn't married I just wasn't married it wasn't suppose to happen like this.
I had no idea what to do... I was just broken.
I eventually came to terms with everything and realized that in just 2 weeks I would marry the love of my life and the father of the child growing inside of me.
I don't know why this has upset me so much lately but knowing that for a split second I "cried" because of the greatest thing God has done in my life.
I regret it. I will never get to change that moment. I hate the way I handled it-- I handled it the way a young single 21 year old would not a mature, practically married woman would have and it sucks. it suchs I don't get to rewrite that moment.


Do you have parenting regrets?
I hope I'm not alone on this one.

Momma gets baptized. :)

A couple weeks ago our church had a HUGE outdoor service in celebration of our Acts 4 initiative

Our church wanted us to sell unused items around our house to raise money like the old church.

And the amount we raised was revealed at this service along with baptisms in our pond.

We had a total of 64 people signed up for baptisms & a goal of 10,000 dollars for our Acts 4 initiative offering.(The money raised was to go to our Community Care Fund)

Well the day came & it was beyond gorgeous outside--I was overwhelmed with emotions... I was excited, nervous, calm, happy, anxious, etc.

The service was wonderful & heart warming.  It was amazing to praise God outside with my church family & really be able to be in awe of all his makings. 

The day ended with the baptisms-- like I said 64 people had signed up to get baptized and after all of them were baptized they opened it up to people that were their and felt that God wanted them to get baptized. 

& I'm proud to annouce that...

101 people got baptized!!

that shows just how amazing God is. 

The total raised was annouced at the very end of the service & that total came to...

$14,525.24

This is HUGE we surpassed our Goal that was set & some! :)

In addition to all of that over 1,500 people were in attendence that day! :)

Here are some pictures from that day! :)

don't mind my face here... obviously the sun was in my eyes

This is Laura we have been friends since 6th grade & she got baptized with me!

getting baptized.

after getting baptized

a view of the baptisms

during our worship.

again all of the people. :)

This was a GREAT day!

God is Good!

I love you because...

So... my Hubs & I don't have this "perfect" relationship but I do have to say we have a pretty awesome one.  We used to argue constantly about little things and fight a lot-- then we got married & I don't know what it was but it just stopped. I mean we have been together for 8 years now so 14 to 22 yeah I'd say I've grown up, matured, went from a kid to a young adult to an adult & we became parents.  I'm sure our young age had a lot to do with it but I can tell you now we fight on very very rare occasions & argueing doesn't happen much either--maybe a couple times a month.  Now, like I said we aren't perfect we do have our flaws but we are very happy with one another and our relationship there are parts where we could & are working on... to be honest with you he thinks we need to grow closer romantically (like any man probably) & I just feel like I need to be apprieciated a little more and in ways that mean the most to me.  I like gifts, I like compliments I just like to know that I am appreciated.  So this past weekend we were discussing this & we decided that at least once a day we would tell eachother why we love them.  So, here lately we say this a lot...
I love you because...
This is awesome it's just a simple reminder of how awesome that person is and how much they mean to us and it really points out the things that mean a lot to us even if it is simple little things.  I'm sure many of you have seen on Pinterest this amazing idea---

find the details here

well... I bought 3 picture frames and plan to do this exact thing but we will each have our own frame :)

I'm excited to see how it turns out and get to read it everyday. 

Also check out how awesome the Hubs listens to my wants & needs--

this was left for me after a long night with Maddux he got woke up a couple times because Maddux wouldn't quit crying so he knew I was upset/frusterated and so he left this for me to wake up too... he put it in the bathroom where he knew I would see it! It instantly made my day. I'm seriously blessed. :)

Happy Happy Birthday...

To my wonderful husband. 

He deserves so much more than what I can give him.  He is an amazing man & I am truly truly blessed to have him in my life. 

So today I am spending the day celebrating him.

Happy 25th Birthday!

25 Reasons I love YOU!

1.  I love the fact that you work your butt off for us. 
2. I love you because you make me laugh. A Lot.--even though most of the time it's because I'm hiding the embarrassment your causing me :)
3. I love that you are a great father.
4. I love your love for the Lord makes my love that much greater for you.
5. I love that you help make me a better person--at times.
6. I love you because you put others before you.
7. I love you because you are an amazing person
8. I love that you are still with me after realizing I'm a pretty bad housewife.
9. I love when you make Maddux laugh it melts my heart
10. I love the fact that you let me "run your life" :)
11. I love that you would do anything for me & Maddux
12. I love that yu took care of all my pregnancy cravings.--only an amazing man could do that.
13. I love you because you stand by my side even if most of your family would prefer otherwise.
14. I love how you can put a smile on my face--even if I'm furious at you.
15. I love that you lie really good say you like my new mom body.
16. I love that you put up with me being a backseat driver--even though I save our lives 90% of the time your driving
17. I love your smile
18. I love that you let me control the tv changer even if I'm really not watching it because I'm on the computer.
19. I love you because you remember the hand shake we made up when we were in high school.
20. I love your love for Maddux
21. I love how you get so excited over the little things.
22. I love your laugh-- all of them.
23. I love your relationship your share with your brother.  I think it's amazing.
24. I love that your willing to take a 100 pictures with me.
25. I love when you do your hair

....

mainly though I love you for you.

Your a great partner, father, friend, teacher & person.

Happy Birthday Babe! :)

Enjoy YOUR day!

1 year.

1 year ago yesterday.

I married my very best friend & soulmate. 

I have thought for days on what I wanted to say on here to really express how much I love this man.

& obviously I couldn't.

I don't think anything I can say or do will ever show him how much he means to me

or how deep my love is for him.

The only thing that can come close to explaining my love for him is that little boy we both adore.

 

This has been the best year ever.

My life would be nothing without Jayce by my side.

Everyday I fall more in love with him.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

I LOVE YOU!!

CAN'T WAIT TO CELEBRATE A LIFETIME FULL OF MORE!! :)

Ya Find Out Who Your Friends Are...

For Real! I'm sure all of you momma's can relate to the blog title. 

You have a kid & you lose friends. plain and simple... it's sad but true.

I'm young only 22.  In high school I had a few best friends.  Stayed close with most of them but then life happened...

I got engaged... lost 1 then.

I got married... lost 2-3 then.

I got pregnant....lost 2 more.

this is no joke.  the day I told one of my friends I was pregnant was the last time they asked me to hang out.  grant it we had all just recently turned 21 & I couldn't go out anymore but seriously it was like bam. done. 

Now that Maddux is here some have came around a time or two but nothing like we used to... 

I seriously wouldn't change a thing but dang I miss them.

I don't think it's the late nights or the parties or even the gossip but I think I miss the genuine people they all were at one point or another. 

I have great friends & 3 of them were there the night I gave birth to Maddux and knowing they were outside in the waiting room meant the world to me and thinking about it makes me cry... it's just sad because a couple of these girls were mentioned above when I talked about losing friends. 

They missed my WHOLE pregnancy and then showed up for the most amazing day of my life.   I seriously love knowing that they dropped everything and were there for me. 

But then I think where have they been now?

1 of the girls has seen Maddux 2 times since he was born.

1 of the girls has seen him 3 times since he was born.

& the last one was there for most of my pregnancy (on and off) & has seen Maddux almost once a week since he was born.

But, I guess the reason I'm writing about this is because it's crazy.

This past week a friend of mine her dad died. We all came together again and spent time together at the veiwing.  This was the first time I was together with all of them in a long time.  It was awkard and I was uncomfortable-- I mean we were at a viewing so it wasn't the best place to converse but I came home sat on the couch with my husband next to me and Maddux in my lap and broke down. 

I just broke.  When I could finally catch a breathe and spit out why I was so upset all I could say was.  What happened?

I felt like I had no one... other than my best friend sitting next to me.  My other half. My husband.  & this just devastated me.  I mean I know friends don't always last forever but seriously just the previous summer and the time leading up to my pregnancy we were inseperable and now it's all just gone. 

I felt like I didn't connect with anyone.  They were talking about there late nights out and I was talking about my late night feedings.  They would talk about gossip and I was talking about the little boy smiling in my lap.  They would talk about there boy troubles and I was talking about my marriage.  They were talking about the latest teen mom episode and I was talking about mickey mouse.   They were talking about there weekend plans and I was talking about my family. 

Just nothing connected & it sucked. 

I hated knowing that somewhere in all of our busy lives that we lead that we forgot about one another... or just forgot about me. 

As I cried for a while I just kept saying I need some mommy friends. 

&&

I must say God granted me that wish by having my childhood best friend still very close to me have a little boy just a few months older than Maddux which is great since both of us don't have many friends.

I will say that this past weekend I did get together with the girls for a gathering at my friends house it was with her family and out of town guests that were here for the funeral & the hubs watched Maddux and I went and just enjoyed a few drinks and I did catch up on the latest gossip but still... I won't here from most of the girls till the next time I contact them in need for a girls night out. 

So... all I can say is if you didn't experience this your lucky & if you did I'm sorry. It sucks!

Here are some pictures of my friends. Some are still around... Some aren't it is what it is I guess. I won't point out who's here. :) I miss all of them that's for sure. 

don't mind the numbering I used that collage for something else. :)

I’m back!! :)

 

I went missing. It was a somewhat spur of the moment unplanned hiatus from the bloggy world.  Not only did I not post on my blog but I only got on one time to read some of my faves.  The Hubs had the past week off work because he went from doing his second shift weekend (fill in job) back to his normal hours first shift weekdays, finally.  This meant that we got to spend lots of time with him which was awesome because we weren’t seeing him much at all mainly like 1-2 hours on the weekends no fun :(  I feel horrible though because I missed Maddux’s 4 month post—I started it but haven’t finished it yet.  So,the week was spent mostly at the ballpark—our nephew made all-stars & he had a game wednesday, thursday, double header friday & saturday and we try to make it to any that we can and we happened to go to allllll of them.  I got some sun Saturday so that was good.  :)  we also had a cookout with some family, we went to the park, we took his niece and nephew and Maddux of course to the Zoo—that is were Jayce’s family picnic for work was held so we got in for free & got a lot of free ride passes.  The kids really enjoyed it & Maddux was awake for practically the whole thing he only slept for about 10 minutes right before we left.

&& the most important thing we did while I was away was celebrate Maddux’s 4 month birthday!! :) 

Below are a few picture of what we did. 

 

-Maddux fell asleep while letting me hold him—this doesn’t happen often anymore.

-at the park! :)

-Our niece and nephew at the zoo.

-bad parenting moment ;) Me to the hubs—Did you grab the diaper bag? Him to me—No, did you?  Me—No.  We return him & there it sits in our driveway… I’m the one that sat it there… Jayce was putting Maddux in the car and was in the way of me sitting it in the backseat so I sat it directly behind him & told him to put it in the car he obviously didn’t and this is where it stayed while we were gone for probably 3-4 hours! Luckily I keep a thing of diapers in the car in case of emergencies (like this) & we had our bottle bag with us :)

-Maddux at his 4 month check up.

-Daddy & Maddux at the check up.

-our toilet broke—luckily it was an easy fix. :)

 

So… I’m sorry for not letting you guys know what was going on but there you have it I had a great week & weekend… & now that the Hubs is back to work I will be back to blogging during naptimes! :)

Scary.

Today is just another day I am down on my knees thanking God for everything he has blessed me with-- mainly my healthy happy baby. 

Today I had a horrible thing happen & hopefully the first & last time this has ever happened.

Today I got in an accident with Maddux in the car.  It was a minor accident but minor or not it still scared all of us.

This surprisingly in no way at all my fault.

A older lady was driving & just blew a stop sign she tried to stop wayyyy to late  I saw her & thought wow she is going really fast to stop at the stop sign & before I could do anything but slam on my breaks & try to turn out of the way she had hit me. 

As soon as I stopped I jumped out of my car and rushed to my screaming baby in the back seat--

Thankfully he was fine I think the sharp turn & the collision of our car just scared him.  & as soon as I picked him up he stopped crying.

Thank Goodness she only hit my passenger door & front passenger tire.-- If I wouldn't have tried turning out of the way she would have completely t-boned me!

My Mom was with me as well & she was just fine too. 

The lady that was driving the other car said she simply wasn't paying attention she was turned talking to her mother & just spaced it. 

They think she broke the tire rod & there was a bunch of fluid leaking so they don't know where that was coming from  but hopefully no where to serious. 

This is the first accident I've ever been in && I'm hoping this was the last because wow... it was terrifying I can't imagine getting into a serious accident. 

Definitely saying some extra I love yous today. 

The Ugly.

Ok so like most mommy blogs I normally blog about how wonderful & perfect my child is & all the amazing things that comes along with being a parent.  But lets get real here... Parenting isn't always awesome.  It isn't always pleasant. Sometimes there are things that just plain suck.  I may sound crazy to some of you but I'm just being honest.  There are moments when I really struggle at being that happy mama.  I mean I try to be like that but there are those moments when you can't like it stinks. So Here are the things that I don't mention often or at all that I just plain don't like about being a parent.  Please don't take this as me hating life, my child, parenting-- I know I've been blessed with a wonderful gift & I wouldn't trade it for the world & I'll take these moments & things because I have to it's part of being a parent but Hey I can complain because this is my blog! So here we go... the things I've struggled with or in other words wish didn't exist/happen.

• Sleep.
• This is the thing I'm struggling with the most right now-- I dread bedtime I mean like Hate My Life in this moment.  Maddux does awesome through out the day with naps and such in his crib but bedtime is a whole other ball game.  He screams. He yells.  He cries.  He kicks. He screams. He yells. He cries. He kicks. He screams. He yells. He cries. He kicks. He calms down. He takes his paci. He starts to fall asleep. BAM. He screams. He yells. He cries. He kicks. He screams. He yells. He cries. He kicks. He screams. He yells. He cries. He kicks. He calms down. He takes his paci. He starts to fall asleep. BAM. ---Yes, that is a vicious cycle we go through every night until finally I'm crying He's crying & I cave.  I pick him up take him to our bed lay down & he stops crying & goes right to sleep-within minutes! I HATE BEDTIME!!
• Schedule.
• Schedule...What's that?  Maddux does what he wants when he wants.  I know I know he's a baby & babies do that but I hate it.  I hate that I can't have everyday planned out perfectly.  I hate that routines just don't work at least not yet.  Some days he goes 3-4 hours between meals others he goes 2-3 hours between meals.  It's just so hard to plan things when you don't know what your infant wants.  I mean sometimes you try to run an errand and they decide that they need to eat right then and there and well then your trying to feed your screaming child in there rear facing car seat while you drive home because you can't bring a screaming kid anywhere. 
• Picky Peter.
• I can't stand how one day Maddux will LOVE his swing with a passion he can sit in it for hours--heck he can even sleep in it at his gma's house but other days he won't even let you sit him down in it without crying.  or how some days he likes his bumbo other days he hates it.  Some days he'll take great naps in his cribs other days he needs to be in his pack-n-play & other days he will only take his mama's arms. 
• Colic.
• I know that Maddux isn't a colicky baby but, he has his days.  Yes, some days he just wakes up on the wrong side of the bed & is fussy fussy fussy & these are the days where his mama just cries because I'm so lost on these days.  If anyone has ever been around Maddux they know that he is one of the happiest babies ever--He will smile from ear to ear forever but these days I can't get him to smile or anything. I hate days like these. 
• Words.
• Ok common sense, babies can't talk.  I hate that I don't know what Maddux needs or feels.  I mean earlier this week I had a sore throat and a couple days after that Maddux was fussy all day well was did he have a sore throat? I'll never know? I don't know why Maddux was fussy that day.  I mean I can decode most of his cries... I know if he's crying cause he's hungry or needs to burp or wants held or what not but there are moments where you don't know what's wrong & it would just be great if you could know the answer. 
• Lastly, Advice.
• Everyone has it... Family, Friends, Co workers, Strangers-- It's great I love to hear it but, I don't want it shoved down my throat.  I totally respect everything your saying & will listen to what you have to say about what you think I should do but don't tell me I'm doing it wrong & NEED to do something because well let's be honest--

I  DON'T NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO... MY CHILD IS HAPPY & HEALTHY WITHOUT YOUR ADVICE.

*I love my advice from you guys & hell I like it from other people too but it's when someone is trying to shove it down your throat like making me feel like my child is going to die or go to hell if I don't do things their way! that's the advice I can do without... my blogger friends are much to kind to ever make me feel like! :)

again, please realize this isn't me saying that I hate being a mom because I love my little more & I will deal with all of these things for however long I need to but sometimes I need to get real & not pretend that I'm living this dream life or have this perfect baby even though he really is perfect even when he does stress me out-- Parenting is one hell of a ride but it's a beautiful journey that lucky people get to experience and the beauty of your childs smile makes all of the bad things go away even if it is for a brief second.



Mother’s Day!

we went to church… Had a very lovely service.

He was such a happy baby for his momma

 

We had lunch at Steak-n-Shake with my parents

We went to our local library (where we got married)

and took some pictures! :)

we got my car washed—1/2 way through our wash it shut off… kinda creepy! :)

We went and visited with my Granny (Maddux’s Great Grandma)

We also celebrated with My Dad’s family Maddux was a veryyy content baby the whole time!

 

I had a wonderful first Mother’s Day & I look forward to have many many more! :)

Videos of the little guy & Mothers Day Present

ok so… first of all I’ll talk about Mothers Day… So long story short My Hubby didn’t listen to my clues on what I  really wanted & he was lazy about ordering what I really wanted so… when he said that him & Maddux needed to go shopping I knew they would be going to the jewelry store & well I don’t want just any old mom necklace I wanted the necklace that I showed him & saved to my favorites under What I want for Mothers Day (you think that would be a big enough clue for him… Nope.  Heck, I may sound a little ungrateful here but I really just wanted the necklace I saved under my favorites so yesterday I made him order it for me instead of going shopping and getting something I wouldn’t really like. So, here’s a picture of what I will be getting in 2-3 weeks. Looks like I’m making jayce take me to dinner whenever it comes in too… we will be having a mothers day do over :) even though I’m sure Sunday will be perfect even if I don’t get to unwrap the perfect gift… I have the best present of all Maddux :)

of course it will say Maddux & 03.15.11—Pretty adorable huh? He ordered it from this amazing etsy shop  Head on over and check her stuff out… the prices are crazy reasonable & everything is super cute.

Then for my mom we got…

 It will have Maddux & my niece Marissa’s birthstone on it…. (I just found this yesterday when I was looking at mine so… my momma’s gift won’t be here on Mothers Day either) Her necklace is from this etsy shop.

Now what you guys really came here to look at… that super cute little boy! :)

This video is pretty boring but he really is that good in the bath… this is when I’m able to brush my teeth get my make up on get dressed and stuff if he’s not in the tub he normally won’t let me do much! :)

 

He was so sweet here… He has been such a happy baby lately it’s been great! :)

This video cracks me up… Can you guess what he is doing?? :) Yes, he was pooping But he was just so funny I had to record! :)

Hahah… Maddux has the hiccups here but he was holding his own head up well trying to… you’ll see. :)

Hope you guys enjoy the videos & Have a wonderful Saturday!! :)

The journey so far...

being a parent has already proven to be the most amazing, scary, rewarding & hardest thing I have ever done.  I love every minute of having Maddux here but Oh My Gosh--Nothing prepares you for this adventure. Everyday you are learning on how to be a mom.  The feeling you have toward your child is unreal and unexplainable.  I thank God everyday for this blessing he has gave to Jayce & I.  We have both been blown away at our experience as parents so far we never thought it would or could be this awesome yet this hard.  I'm not complaining and when I say hard its not saying I have a bad baby or that I can't handle being a mom.  What I am saying is... that it is hard to get up multiple times a night, it's hard when he starts to cry and you don't know why, it is hard to watch him get poked to get his blood drawn, it's hard to know what is the right thing for your family, it's hard to leave him to run an errand, it's hard to have time for yourself, it's hard to keep a clean house, it's hard to adjust to this new life.  But no matter how hard it is at times it is completely worth it.  I have never been so happy in my life as I when I am able to sit on my couch with the man I love and the miracle we made in my arms.  Parenting is a gift and I am so blessed. 


Now that Maddux is 2 weeks old...
Jayce is back to work.
 -Today is officially our first day without him here but my 2nd night of doing everything myself and letting Jayce just sleep so far so good! :)
He eats about ever 3-4 hours around 3 oz at each feeding.
-This is a perfect schedule for us so far.  Ever since he's been on formula he is much more content.
He's more alert
-loves to just look at things He is awake a lot more this week
He has reasons for crying.
-He really only cries if he is hungry or trying to poop.
We have learnt he doesn't burp-often.
-We try to burp him during his feedings but its not common to get a burp from him then rather you have to wait about a hour or 2 and he will get fussy and you know he needs to burp at that point. 
He is FINALLY fitting into his newborn clothes.
-sadly he has only been able to wear about 4 of his outfits and we had to go out and buy a few more because only carters newborn outfits fit him the onsies were still big on him but he is starting to fit into them better and better.
He loves car rides
-as soon as he is in his car seat he is usually out.


Yesterday was his 2 week check up.
He is now...
weighing 7lbs 13 oz. (25%)
measuring 20 in. long (25%)

Doc said everything looks good and that he is gaining weight perfectly now! :)