The Ugly.

Ok so like most mommy blogs I normally blog about how wonderful & perfect my child is & all the amazing things that comes along with being a parent.  But lets get real here... Parenting isn't always awesome.  It isn't always pleasant. Sometimes there are things that just plain suck.  I may sound crazy to some of you but I'm just being honest.  There are moments when I really struggle at being that happy mama.  I mean I try to be like that but there are those moments when you can't like it stinks. So Here are the things that I don't mention often or at all that I just plain don't like about being a parent.  Please don't take this as me hating life, my child, parenting-- I know I've been blessed with a wonderful gift & I wouldn't trade it for the world & I'll take these moments & things because I have to it's part of being a parent but Hey I can complain because this is my blog! So here we go... the things I've struggled with or in other words wish didn't exist/happen.

• Sleep.
• This is the thing I'm struggling with the most right now-- I dread bedtime I mean like Hate My Life in this moment.  Maddux does awesome through out the day with naps and such in his crib but bedtime is a whole other ball game.  He screams. He yells.  He cries.  He kicks. He screams. He yells. He cries. He kicks. He screams. He yells. He cries. He kicks. He calms down. He takes his paci. He starts to fall asleep. BAM. He screams. He yells. He cries. He kicks. He screams. He yells. He cries. He kicks. He screams. He yells. He cries. He kicks. He calms down. He takes his paci. He starts to fall asleep. BAM. ---Yes, that is a vicious cycle we go through every night until finally I'm crying He's crying & I cave.  I pick him up take him to our bed lay down & he stops crying & goes right to sleep-within minutes! I HATE BEDTIME!!
• Schedule.
• Schedule...What's that?  Maddux does what he wants when he wants.  I know I know he's a baby & babies do that but I hate it.  I hate that I can't have everyday planned out perfectly.  I hate that routines just don't work at least not yet.  Some days he goes 3-4 hours between meals others he goes 2-3 hours between meals.  It's just so hard to plan things when you don't know what your infant wants.  I mean sometimes you try to run an errand and they decide that they need to eat right then and there and well then your trying to feed your screaming child in there rear facing car seat while you drive home because you can't bring a screaming kid anywhere. 
• Picky Peter.
• I can't stand how one day Maddux will LOVE his swing with a passion he can sit in it for hours--heck he can even sleep in it at his gma's house but other days he won't even let you sit him down in it without crying.  or how some days he likes his bumbo other days he hates it.  Some days he'll take great naps in his cribs other days he needs to be in his pack-n-play & other days he will only take his mama's arms. 
• Colic.
• I know that Maddux isn't a colicky baby but, he has his days.  Yes, some days he just wakes up on the wrong side of the bed & is fussy fussy fussy & these are the days where his mama just cries because I'm so lost on these days.  If anyone has ever been around Maddux they know that he is one of the happiest babies ever--He will smile from ear to ear forever but these days I can't get him to smile or anything. I hate days like these. 
• Words.
• Ok common sense, babies can't talk.  I hate that I don't know what Maddux needs or feels.  I mean earlier this week I had a sore throat and a couple days after that Maddux was fussy all day well was did he have a sore throat? I'll never know? I don't know why Maddux was fussy that day.  I mean I can decode most of his cries... I know if he's crying cause he's hungry or needs to burp or wants held or what not but there are moments where you don't know what's wrong & it would just be great if you could know the answer. 
• Lastly, Advice.
• Everyone has it... Family, Friends, Co workers, Strangers-- It's great I love to hear it but, I don't want it shoved down my throat.  I totally respect everything your saying & will listen to what you have to say about what you think I should do but don't tell me I'm doing it wrong & NEED to do something because well let's be honest--

I  DON'T NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO... MY CHILD IS HAPPY & HEALTHY WITHOUT YOUR ADVICE.

*I love my advice from you guys & hell I like it from other people too but it's when someone is trying to shove it down your throat like making me feel like my child is going to die or go to hell if I don't do things their way! that's the advice I can do without... my blogger friends are much to kind to ever make me feel like! :)

again, please realize this isn't me saying that I hate being a mom because I love my little more & I will deal with all of these things for however long I need to but sometimes I need to get real & not pretend that I'm living this dream life or have this perfect baby even though he really is perfect even when he does stress me out-- Parenting is one hell of a ride but it's a beautiful journey that lucky people get to experience and the beauty of your childs smile makes all of the bad things go away even if it is for a brief second.