Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Ya Find Out Who Your Friends Are...

For Real! I'm sure all of you momma's can relate to the blog title. 

You have a kid & you lose friends. plain and simple... it's sad but true.

I'm young only 22.  In high school I had a few best friends.  Stayed close with most of them but then life happened...
I got engaged... lost 1 then.
I got married... lost 2-3 then.
I got pregnant....lost 2 more.
this is no joke.  the day I told one of my friends I was pregnant was the last time they asked me to hang out.  grant it we had all just recently turned 21 & I couldn't go out anymore but seriously it was like bam. done. 

Now that Maddux is here some have came around a time or two but nothing like we used to... 
I seriously wouldn't change a thing but dang I miss them.

I don't think it's the late nights or the parties or even the gossip but I think I miss the genuine people they all were at one point or another. 

I have great friends & 3 of them were there the night I gave birth to Maddux and knowing they were outside in the waiting room meant the world to me and thinking about it makes me cry... it's just sad because a couple of these girls were mentioned above when I talked about losing friends. 
They missed my WHOLE pregnancy and then showed up for the most amazing day of my life.   I seriously love knowing that they dropped everything and were there for me. 

But then I think where have they been now?
1 of the girls has seen Maddux 2 times since he was born.
1 of the girls has seen him 3 times since he was born.
& the last one was there for most of my pregnancy (on and off) & has seen Maddux almost once a week since he was born.

But, I guess the reason I'm writing about this is because it's crazy.
This past week a friend of mine her dad died. We all came together again and spent time together at the veiwing.  This was the first time I was together with all of them in a long time.  It was awkard and I was uncomfortable-- I mean we were at a viewing so it wasn't the best place to converse but I came home sat on the couch with my husband next to me and Maddux in my lap and broke down. 

I just broke.  When I could finally catch a breathe and spit out why I was so upset all I could say was.  What happened?

I felt like I had no one... other than my best friend sitting next to me.  My other half. My husband.  & this just devastated me.  I mean I know friends don't always last forever but seriously just the previous summer and the time leading up to my pregnancy we were inseperable and now it's all just gone. 

I felt like I didn't connect with anyone.  They were talking about there late nights out and I was talking about my late night feedings.  They would talk about gossip and I was talking about the little boy smiling in my lap.  They would talk about there boy troubles and I was talking about my marriage.  They were talking about the latest teen mom episode and I was talking about mickey mouse.   They were talking about there weekend plans and I was talking about my family. 

Just nothing connected & it sucked. 
I hated knowing that somewhere in all of our busy lives that we lead that we forgot about one another... or just forgot about me. 

As I cried for a while I just kept saying I need some mommy friends. 
&&
I must say God granted me that wish by having my childhood best friend still very close to me have a little boy just a few months older than Maddux which is great since both of us don't have many friends.

I will say that this past weekend I did get together with the girls for a gathering at my friends house it was with her family and out of town guests that were here for the funeral & the hubs watched Maddux and I went and just enjoyed a few drinks and I did catch up on the latest gossip but still... I won't here from most of the girls till the next time I contact them in need for a girls night out. 


So... all I can say is if you didn't experience this your lucky & if you did I'm sorry. It sucks!


Here are some pictures of my friends. Some are still around... Some aren't it is what it is I guess. I won't point out who's here. :) I miss all of them that's for sure. 

don't mind the numbering I used that collage for something else. :)

4 comments:

  1. Omg I just drafted a post about the same thing. Even most of my friends that already had kids dont keep in contact with me. And sadly a lot of them are still very much involved in the party scene and I'm just not into that. But I still miss my friends. I only have 1 friend who makes a point to see me and Ry monthly. I cut some out intentionally because I just couldn't handle the drama they where bringing into my life. I love being a Mom but it can be lonely at times.

    P.S - cant wait to hear about the sleep update

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  2. i am crying.
    i cant even BEGIN to talk about this
    me & alisha actually did just last night.

    obviously one of those girls was one i lost along the way too.
    she sees how alot of mom are our age going out every chance they get & expected me to be the same.

    I have NO problem going out but when it every weekend; its too much I enjoy my child. sure it nice to get out & get away.

    Alisha sent me the nicest text about being back in contact; & i really would love to be more with you. I read your posts & just think OMG- why arent we talking! or you status about having a bad night! cause i have them to with kennedy.

    I have found SO much thru out getting married & having a baby; the huge stuff like you put above all of sudden people are thre for the night I have a breakdown where are they?

    I came to the conclusion & i didnt really want them there when it was convient for them; or to get a picture of the big days & not for the little.

    now I am babbling & this is getting toooo long for a comment.

    but i really hope maybe someday soon we can talk or even you come for kennedy & evs playdate. I miss you.

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  3. yep. soooo true. have 2 kids... lose more.

    BUT on the bright side, you make new friends... with kids... new relationships with people who appreciate you as a mother.

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  4. oh I hear ya hunnie! Loud and clear :( I also moved 4.5 hours away from my amazing friends that WOULD be around. It sucks even more, trying to start over and make friends when you are a SAHM. But you do have your husband and your beautiful baby boy!

    <3

    ReplyDelete