Finding the Beauty in This.

It has taken me 10 months to find the real beauty in this picture.

When you see someone after giving birth they either look

a) AMAZING like their child just slid out with no work perfect hair & make up

or

b) like a HOT MESS like they just worked out harder than ever before hair everywhere & make up smeared all over

there really is no in between when it comes to what you look like after labor & delivery

seriously 2 choices A or B

&& lets get real-- you don't have a choice it's really up to how that delivery goes..

Of course, if you ask me I was going to look like choice A.

I was going have my hair straightened & my make up all in place.

So, let me tell you how this was going to happen.

I had straightened my hair after I got out of the shower earlier that day-- this was a big deal I maybe straightened my hair a dozen times during my whole pregnancy.

So, the hair was taken care of. no worries.

The nurse came in at 720 and told me I was ready to push so me... wanting to look perfect.

I checked my hair and did my make up.

well fast forward about 45 minutes.

The nurse FINALLY walks in to have me start pushing.

apparently someone else had to deliver in between me.

so... I pushed for about an hour before my sweet little boy decided to come out.

&&

let me give you the real nitty gritty of that hour of pushing...

that hour included

an epidural that I received 7 hours earlier with a second dose given about 3 hrs earlier

that same epidural spoken about ^above^ yeah it still was wearing off

a right leg charlie horse on more than one occasion in that hour

lots of pushing and breathing

sweat-- this was hard work of course I was sweating!

instructions--firm instructions given to my mom & hubs on HOW they needed to hold my leg

& no rubbing my leg just hold it!

an episiotomy

& lastly a beautiful baby boy arrived

so, now that we understand what happened in that hour lets look at our first post labor & delivery picture.

**please note-- this picture hasn't been shared with ANYONE except my immediate family**

details of above photo:  this picture was taken immediately after delivery & this is touched-up.

But lets get to real beauty that is in this picture.

the smile on my face

that doesn't even begin to explain the happiness I'm really feeling.

the smudged makeup, the messy hair & the look of complete exhaustion 

 that really reminds me of all the work I just did to deliver that baby boy

the large swollen face & double chin

I just got done being pregnant and I gained every pound for a beautiful reason the gift of life for my little boy

(maybe I gained a couple or a few or a lot because of unhealthy eating and lack of exercise during my pregnancy)

the acne that is shining through because of the smudged make up

another pregnancy symptom that I need to overlook

that little boy I'm holding for the first time

no explanation needed

overall this picture is beautiful and the real beauty of this picture--the smile on my face, the smudged makeup, the messy hair, the look of complete exhaustion, the large swollen face, the double chin, the acne that is shining through because of the smudged make up & that little boy I'm holding.

that's beautiful.

that's real.

Real Beauty was Really Found.

&

now this picture will be on a canvas in my house somewhere because it is that beautiful and it tells the real story of my delivery.